it was a very different Christmas without being with family :) nonetheless, the time spent with dear friends was awesome as we ate, relaxed, reflected, prayed and appreciated the incredible gift of Jesus together!
as 2008 draws to a end, i look back and realize just what an unbelievable year it has been. at the same time, 2009 promises to hold SO MUCH MORE. it really is going to be a new season. just the glimpses that God has given me as to what He has in store have me feeling quite excited and at times also quite nervous! :D
one thing's for sure- He's definitely preparing me, and many others, and His church, to be His vessels. there is definitely that sense that He wants to pour out so much but we need to be ready.
one thing that God spoke to me yesterday as rosie and i spent time in His presence before we went shopping :) and really confirmed last night during a very rare opportunity (first time ever!) to visit the Ablaze service (awesome and refreshing experience!!) was about being ready to pay the price. in everything that He desires to do, in the light of what He has in store in this new season, will we be ready to get on board, will we be ready to take that extra step forward, will we be willing to pay the price to see His purposes established and His Kingdom advanced?
in this coming new year it is my prayer to once again surrender my "Isaacs" to Him and to be fully sold out for His purposes. so that i can serve out His purpose for me in my generation!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
the call
"The place where God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."- Frederick Buechner
Monday, December 15, 2008
for beauty and strength
Jeremiah 18
1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 6 "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel"
1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 6 "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel"
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
He will bring me there!
well praise God i survived the first week!!!
but it does feel like in the process i've dropped so many balls and it's been hard not to beat myself up over it! it still feels impossible to stretch my energies for anything but the top 3 or 4 major things requiring my immediate attention... as i slowly (very slowly...) learn to juggle everything, knowing that it is really beyond my capacity right now to deal with every single thing, i just have to accept that i have to let certain things go for another week or so, set priorities right, and keep focused on the things i need to do RIGHT NOW! but yeah aaaargh!!!
it has felt the past few weeks like i haven't been a good steward of everything on my plate, and plus who likes knowing they are mediocre? it's definitely been frustrating when i keep hearing the words in my head "you're managing now not leading" so it has been a battle emotionally as well when i've felt like i'm not good enough, i'm not living up to expectations and what is required of me, and i've also wondered that perhaps i'm not called to certain things!
as God questioned me over the weekend "have i really been Your reason in everything?" it's also been majorly convicting and breaking to let Him search and change my heart... once again i realize how fragile and deceptive our hearts can be! (Jer 17:9) and He's had to bring me back to getting it right in doing it all for Him, hence finding that joy and strength to do what i need to!
so praise God, it was really encouraging last night and brought a lift in my spirit as i came before Him to hear that He will bring us to where He has called us as we put our hope and trust in Him!
so as i've allowed Him to search and purify my heart once again, reassure me that He has called me and He WILL enable me and bring me to wherever He has prepared for me- i know all i can do is trust Him and do what i can, with the right heart, walking in His strength. so i have hope for a new day! :D
wow! anyway this is a season i prayed and asked for! (so kids, be careful what you ask for...) i told God i want to grow, i want to do whatever He wants me to do... and i remember God speaking to me about Isaiah 54:2-3, and i even shared on it in lifegroup and since then i've heard it more than 3 times!
so yes God, teach me to enlarge the place of my tent, to stretch, lengthen and strengthen in You! help me to make the most of this season, not for any other reason but for You and for Your glory, and not looking to the left or to the right, but relying and growing in You!
but it does feel like in the process i've dropped so many balls and it's been hard not to beat myself up over it! it still feels impossible to stretch my energies for anything but the top 3 or 4 major things requiring my immediate attention... as i slowly (very slowly...) learn to juggle everything, knowing that it is really beyond my capacity right now to deal with every single thing, i just have to accept that i have to let certain things go for another week or so, set priorities right, and keep focused on the things i need to do RIGHT NOW! but yeah aaaargh!!!
it has felt the past few weeks like i haven't been a good steward of everything on my plate, and plus who likes knowing they are mediocre? it's definitely been frustrating when i keep hearing the words in my head "you're managing now not leading" so it has been a battle emotionally as well when i've felt like i'm not good enough, i'm not living up to expectations and what is required of me, and i've also wondered that perhaps i'm not called to certain things!
as God questioned me over the weekend "have i really been Your reason in everything?" it's also been majorly convicting and breaking to let Him search and change my heart... once again i realize how fragile and deceptive our hearts can be! (Jer 17:9) and He's had to bring me back to getting it right in doing it all for Him, hence finding that joy and strength to do what i need to!
so praise God, it was really encouraging last night and brought a lift in my spirit as i came before Him to hear that He will bring us to where He has called us as we put our hope and trust in Him!
so as i've allowed Him to search and purify my heart once again, reassure me that He has called me and He WILL enable me and bring me to wherever He has prepared for me- i know all i can do is trust Him and do what i can, with the right heart, walking in His strength. so i have hope for a new day! :D
wow! anyway this is a season i prayed and asked for! (so kids, be careful what you ask for...) i told God i want to grow, i want to do whatever He wants me to do... and i remember God speaking to me about Isaiah 54:2-3, and i even shared on it in lifegroup and since then i've heard it more than 3 times!
so yes God, teach me to enlarge the place of my tent, to stretch, lengthen and strengthen in You! help me to make the most of this season, not for any other reason but for You and for Your glory, and not looking to the left or to the right, but relying and growing in You!
Friday, December 5, 2008
the best is yet to come
phew! it has been a crazy first week. first time i clocked in a major number of hours yesterday (which i need to get used to) and it was interesting to keep the energy levels going... i was spaced on the way home! haha...yep i got up after a few hours after getting into bed exhausted- pretty messed up body clock- which does add to the tiredness :)
definitely going to take some getting used to- and it is definitely a stretching season- but i'm alive and i'm ok, and i'll be ok :) thanks everyone for the little smiles, prayers and encouragement! definitely learning and growing! definitely learning to fill the tank with praise and prayer! much more to improve on, in using my time more effectively and getting used to and working through the tiredness and i'll get there in the days to come- very soon i am believing! in Jesus' name! :)
thank You Jesus for Your joy and strength!
more updates later...
definitely going to take some getting used to- and it is definitely a stretching season- but i'm alive and i'm ok, and i'll be ok :) thanks everyone for the little smiles, prayers and encouragement! definitely learning and growing! definitely learning to fill the tank with praise and prayer! much more to improve on, in using my time more effectively and getting used to and working through the tiredness and i'll get there in the days to come- very soon i am believing! in Jesus' name! :)
thank You Jesus for Your joy and strength!
more updates later...
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
the new chapter :)
today marks my official first day of full-time work (i only worked 5 hours yesterday).
yes, God is faithful! i could say that again and again! eventhough i don't get to go for the grad ceremony, just through His amazing timing and just sorting out the little things, i get to start full time anyway, i get a second chance to re-do my assignment, and i get a chance to praise God because He loves me and has His hand over my life!
and it has been an amazing testimony- well this year has been an incredibly amazing one- of me learning what it is to relinquish control, or to "lose" my life for His sake and to then find it. it's been me learning what it is to trust Him and surrender my plans and desires for Him to make them His. it's been me learning to be still, and know that He is and letting Him be God, as a word was given to me this year, and understanding that truly my own wisdom and reasoning is not enough and definitely nothing compared to listening to His voice and waiting for His timing!
and in a nutshell, He has been humbling me so that i realize that it hasn't been about me. it's been about Him. it's been about taking my eyes off my selfish, depraved self... and waiting on, listening to, obeying, loving, trusting Him- our good, perfect, faithful, trustworthy, promise-keeping God, and in the process letting Him do His refining work in me.
in so many ways, i know He has been moulding me and is still moulding me, and helping the cleansing process so that I will be an "instrument for noble purposes". there is still such a ways to go- in my character, capacity, faith etc... and many times I've had it asked of me, why would God allow all these things to happen? isn't it better to just have everything smooth sailing? would God really allow you to fail, suffer, etc... well, now i would answer that in the end, things ARE smooth sailing. and the destination is important, but isn't the journey just as, or in fact, more important? how else would we truly grow in faith or in learning to surrender, and relying on Him if He does not allow such things to happen? how else would we learn to submit our will to Him and say "let Your will be done" as even Jesus had to finally say?
as i always (i think i've said it at least 10 times over the weekend) say, God is interested not primarily in our happiness, but our holiness (groans all around from my sister and cousin)! i think that should be my life motto... anyway, He is much more interested in our character above our comfort! and i've come to recognize and appreciate this SO much, because i know He loves me too much to let me remain where I am, and He knows that I have the capacity to withstand such furnace experiences! and so I DO feel privileged and in awe.
i pray that in whatever seasons to come and in the future experiences with God, i will continue to use each moment to look to Him and seek His heart! and continue not to wrestle but flow along and cling unto Him and His Word!
praise God! thanks for praying with me in these seasons- it has truly been amazing and i know there are more to come!
yes, God is faithful! i could say that again and again! eventhough i don't get to go for the grad ceremony, just through His amazing timing and just sorting out the little things, i get to start full time anyway, i get a second chance to re-do my assignment, and i get a chance to praise God because He loves me and has His hand over my life!
and it has been an amazing testimony- well this year has been an incredibly amazing one- of me learning what it is to relinquish control, or to "lose" my life for His sake and to then find it. it's been me learning what it is to trust Him and surrender my plans and desires for Him to make them His. it's been me learning to be still, and know that He is and letting Him be God, as a word was given to me this year, and understanding that truly my own wisdom and reasoning is not enough and definitely nothing compared to listening to His voice and waiting for His timing!
and in a nutshell, He has been humbling me so that i realize that it hasn't been about me. it's been about Him. it's been about taking my eyes off my selfish, depraved self... and waiting on, listening to, obeying, loving, trusting Him- our good, perfect, faithful, trustworthy, promise-keeping God, and in the process letting Him do His refining work in me.
in so many ways, i know He has been moulding me and is still moulding me, and helping the cleansing process so that I will be an "instrument for noble purposes". there is still such a ways to go- in my character, capacity, faith etc... and many times I've had it asked of me, why would God allow all these things to happen? isn't it better to just have everything smooth sailing? would God really allow you to fail, suffer, etc... well, now i would answer that in the end, things ARE smooth sailing. and the destination is important, but isn't the journey just as, or in fact, more important? how else would we truly grow in faith or in learning to surrender, and relying on Him if He does not allow such things to happen? how else would we learn to submit our will to Him and say "let Your will be done" as even Jesus had to finally say?
as i always (i think i've said it at least 10 times over the weekend) say, God is interested not primarily in our happiness, but our holiness (groans all around from my sister and cousin)! i think that should be my life motto... anyway, He is much more interested in our character above our comfort! and i've come to recognize and appreciate this SO much, because i know He loves me too much to let me remain where I am, and He knows that I have the capacity to withstand such furnace experiences! and so I DO feel privileged and in awe.
i pray that in whatever seasons to come and in the future experiences with God, i will continue to use each moment to look to Him and seek His heart! and continue not to wrestle but flow along and cling unto Him and His Word!
praise God! thanks for praying with me in these seasons- it has truly been amazing and i know there are more to come!
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