:)

wow! i don't think i've sat down and written a post for a while now!

i keep being blown away by how 2009 has just flown by and it's been... what's the best word...
GOOD :)
challenging, maturing, amazing.

honestly, different times in the year i've wondered about decisions i've made and even questioned if i'd really heard the voice of God.

but looking back i see the hand of God all over my life.

it's incredible. countless times this year i've answered questions about myself, my life, my job, my journey with "haha... it's a long story..." and it's true. the past few years have been crazy but SO SO amazing. i am truly SO GRATEFUL for what God has been doing in and through my life. i would really not be where i am today if not for the exciting, and at times, painful breaking and moulding experiences that i've been through. me being here and making it this far is a testimony in itself and i know He's let it be this way so that i CAN be a testimony! :)

i can't share everything here but through the difficult times in finding a job, keeping my job (haha), getting my driver's license, passing my exams and assignments... God has been incredibly and incomparably faithful.

now i see how He's used every one of these experiences to teach me to trust Him in a greater measure. i see how He's used them to really mould my character, challenge my faith, reveal my true heart conditions and teach me about a sweet spirit and submission. God has spoken to me a number of times already the same message through different leaders- "wait on God. take heart. be still and know He is God" and i've tried my best (not without much struggling and wrestling though!) and i will continue to do my best in fixing my eyes on Him and allowing Him to do what He needs to!

i think about how i started off this year and the incredible struggles i faced in maintaining joy and clinging on Him in the midst of hopelessness and "persecution" if i may call it that and i'm really blown away. it was definitely God who sustained me and taught me such valuable lessons.

so looking back now, even through all that, i'm really humbled now by the opportunities i've had to touch and sow into different lives. i'm still learning a lot more about faithfulness, relying on the Holy Spirit, ministering through the brokenness, but i'm grateful God has moved through me even in my weaknesses and failures. He is so gracious! i've been soooo encouraged by different prophetic words that have been spoken over my life (also too sensitive and embarrassing too share here haha)- the main gist besides me being fragile, vulnerable and naive (haha) is that He has called me. and He is continuing to enlarge my heart, develop my giftings and prepare me for what He has in store (which i am so humbled by!) :) and also so grateful and privileged to be serving alongside such totally!!! gifted and amazing men and women in building His House.

i've officially moved to a different spiritual family (AMAZING BUNCH of PASSIONATE YOUNG PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!) with greater responsibilities now, finishing my pre-reg year, and i'm already anticipating the incredible journey it's going to be in 2010- but i know, i know, i know, God has His hand upon my life. there's definitely going to be faith stretching times (which is exciting!!!) but i have no doubt He is faithful. i want to see Him move so amazingly incredibly! and BLOW our minds! and know that it definitely hasn't been me but Him moving through me. my prayer for 2010 is for greater capacity, wisdom and faith!

the last thing that i can share is about the conference we've just had about a Synergized Church. the Word was just so timely and i believe the Spirit was just doing something special in lives and in His church. it confirmed many things God has been speaking to us about His Body and how each part is so important- how every single person in our lifegroup is important!!! how much POTENTIAL there is and how much POWER there is when His Body functions the way it is meant to.

God reminded me again and wrecked my heart again by the love He has for His Church. Ephesians 3:10 always blows me away- "His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms" and i'm reminded that His church is His bride. It just is so incredible that Jesus loved the Church so much that He gave Himself up for her!!! God has always intended His Church to be that shining light, to be His instrument, to be the hope in this dying world. It is where He intends there to be life transformation through the love of Christ- where He desires to restore dreams and hopes, redeem the past, bind the broken hearted, rescue and redeem. And there is really nothing else that compares to the privilege we have in building and investing into His bride!
I pray that He will continue to break our hearts for His church and to see with eyes of faith what He desires and WILL build it to be- there is nothing else worth pouring our lives into!

oh and i've turned 23!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. :) :) :)
yes i am so blessed and loved. seriously.... i appreciate and LOVE you all God has placed in my life heaps! :)